When I look back, I realized that I had been suffering from diabetes since I was young. Not only did I experience intense drowsiness after meals, but it also affected my daily life. In my 20s, my weight reached nearly 100kg, and in my 30s, it peaked at 120kg. There was a time in my 20s when my weight suddenly dropped, and I wondered what was happening. It turned out that rapid weight loss can occur when diabetes progresses. At that time, I had just started going to the gym, and I thought it was due to the gym's effects, but now I realize that it's unlikely that a gym would cause such significant weight loss, so it was probably due to diabetes. During that time, I was also experiencing workplace harassment and emotional abuse from my superiors, so I initially thought that my weight loss might be due to the mental stress, but it's more likely that it was simply due to the progression of diabetes.

In health checkups, I was considered obese. However, especially when I was younger, I would experience intense drowsiness during work, and I would often be unable to cope with it, even during conversations or meetings. I didn't understand that this was a symptom of a physical illness like diabetes, so I didn't receive understanding from myself or those around me. My superiors would often say things like, "I've never felt that sleepy at work," which was frustrating. I was working long hours in the IT industry, often doing more than my colleagues, so they would say, "Just deliver results, even if you're sleeping. It's like you're producing twice the output while sleeping." While it wasn't a major issue at work, I remember being so intensely drowsy that I would sometimes lose consciousness and close my eyes while talking to someone, which was quite abnormal.

In my daily life, the feeling of being "out of it" started when I was a child, likely due to the mental distress caused by bullying. This was compounded by the fatigue and drowsiness associated with diabetes, but at the time, I thought it was just a mental issue. When I was in a state of mental distress, I made the wrong choices to improve my mental state, such as eating a lot of high-calorie foods, sugary desserts, snacks, and sugary drinks. This likely led to diabetes, so I believe I was suffering from both depression due to childhood bullying and diabetes. I remember being misled by advertisements like "Drink vegetable juice to get your daily dose of vegetables," and I diligently drank sugary vegetable juice every day, which only worsened my diabetes. I also tried various health supplements, but they were essentially just adding more food to my diet, so they had no effect. Similarly, products that claimed to promote health through tea were also ineffective.

It seems that my situation evolved over time: depression in my teens, depression and diabetes in my 20s, depression gradually improving in my 30s, and now, in recent years, both depression and diabetes have improved significantly. While my depression has been gradually improving since I was young, my diabetes has been difficult to treat, and I experienced strong drowsiness for about 10 years, with occasional mild symptoms even after that.

Recently, I've managed to lose weight again, and while it's not complete, I've finally managed to escape the obese category. Even though I still have a protruding belly, my old pants are now loose, which means I must have had a lot of fat on my stomach before.

I believe that in Japan, there is a tendency to view physical problems like diabetes-related mental distress as purely mental issues. People often say things like "You need to put in more effort!" without considering the underlying physical causes, and those with mental distress are often treated as "mentally unstable." However, in the case of common illnesses like diabetes, mental distress is often simply a manifestation of physical problems. I think that this tendency in Japan, to focus solely on mental health without considering the body, has likely influenced the perspectives of some people in the spiritual and wellness industries.

While traditional Shinto, Shugendo, and even Buddhism emphasize the importance of physical well-being, people who have only dabbled in spirituality often focus on mental aspects and intellectual understanding, neglecting the body. In recent spiritual trends, there is a tendency to focus on mental exercises and meditation, rather than practices that involve the body. This often leads to a disconnect between the mind and the physical body. While Japanese people tend to be mentally strong, this strength can sometimes lead to a tendency to neglect the body. Obesity and smoking, for example, can both have a negative impact on mental health. Yoga, on the other hand, starts with the body, with posture (asanas) being the foundation, followed by breathing exercises after proper breathing is established through practices like nasal cleansing.

In Japan, when someone experiences mental health issues, they are often treated as mentally ill. However, in reality, the cause may simply be physical. If the cause is identified and treated, the problem can be resolved. There may be cases where mental health issues are misdiagnosed as psychiatric disorders. However, in many cases, the cause is likely physical. If a physical illness is determined to be the cause, then treatment for that illness should be administered. For example, someone may experience mental health issues that are actually caused by diabetes.

There are likely many people who experience a pattern where they have health issues caused by diabetes, are treated as ineligible for work, are subjected to power harassment and bullying by their superiors, are forced to resign, and then become reclusive.

In my case, I was fortunate to be good at IT-related work, and even when I slept during work, I was able to produce results, so it didn't cause too many problems. However, in a normal workplace, sleeping could lead to being forced to resign.

Recently, one of my nicknames has been "Moomin," which was given to me because I was overweight and seemed dazed. However, my obesity has been gradually improving, and I feel that I am becoming less like "Moomin."

Looking back, energy is not only obtained from food, but also from space, specifically from the Sahasrara chakra at the top of the head. If the Sahasrara chakra is not open, it must be opened first. Once it is open, energy can be obtained even without eating much, so a light diet that is just enough to maintain the body is sufficient. While it is probably better to eat more when the body is growing, once the body has stopped growing, it may be better to focus on energy from the Sahasrara chakra and eat a moderate amount of food. In that case, the weight will naturally decrease.

Although my stomach is still protruding, I have recently been losing weight.