Recently, my mental state has become active, similar to adolescence, and I feel that my cognitive abilities have improved. Therefore, it might be a good time to re-study general knowledge.

Previously, I was unable to concentrate and study seriously due to headaches and mental health issues. Now, in addition to simply wanting to overcome my knowledge gaps, I also have a desire to test my own cognitive abilities. If my brain has been upgraded, there is a possibility that I could be admitted to a better university than before, even without taking the entrance exam, so I have started to think that I want to confirm this through self-assessment.

Recently, I have been studying at the Open University, and I am considering re-enrolling after graduation. However, I feel a little embarrassed about obtaining a third degree. Also, since I lacked basic knowledge at the high school level, it might be a good opportunity to supplement the general knowledge necessary for entrance exams at prestigious universities.

The feeling of adolescence may be affecting my cognitive abilities. A certain level of understanding is necessary for discerning people and for relationships, and these depend on how well my brain functions. Therefore, I believe that studying will not be a waste of time.

Therefore, as a method to improve my memory, I would like to improve my visual memory ability. I remember having some visual memory ability in elementary school, but it is hardly functioning now. In elementary school, I could memorize the entire textbook for language arts, but my memory ability deteriorated due to headaches and mental health issues, and I lost my associative memory and visual memory.

This time, I aim to at least restore my visual memory ability, and if possible, I would like to acquire the ability of instant visual memory. Recently, with the "block" in my brain having been lifted, I have some cognitive ability, so during a recent trip, I conducted visual memory training using artworks as the subject matter at the Ohara Museum of Art in Kurashiki.

Initially, I couldn't reproduce any images, and my mind was completely blank. However, after trying several times, some blurry images started to appear, and by the time I reached the first room, I was able to reproduce them slightly. I could only hold the images for a very short time, and they were blurry, with colors that were quite faint. Nevertheless, I could somehow reproduce the general outlines and characteristics in my mind. Surprisingly, my ability returned quickly. The face and kimono of the Belgian woman in the first room were very impressive, so I could vaguely reproduce the images even in the evening of the same day. However, I couldn't remember other works as well in the evening.

I also tried to memorize a timeline by visualizing it, but the accuracy wasn't high enough to reproduce text as images. When I can reproduce text as images, I will be able to memorize timelines and maps as images, which will make studying more efficient. My goal is to reach that level of accuracy.

While practicing image memorization, I ended up spending twice the standard museum viewing time, which is 1.5 hours, and stayed for 3 hours. Viewing a museum in image memorization mode allows you to observe things carefully, so even without memorization, it's more interesting than before.

There are several key points to this:
- Observe without thinking. This is the same as the key to meditation.
- Use your right brain. Don't interpret with language (left brain).
- Transfer the images you see with your eyes to your mind.

If these are the key points, it's understandable why I could do it when I was a child but lost the ability later. I was being bullied and my mental state was broken, so I had a lot of distracting thoughts, which caused headaches, and I gradually became unable to focus, which made it impossible for me to memorize images.

Some people say that this is an innate ability, but I think it's like this: if your mind is clear from birth, you have the ability, but if you are born with a mind full of distractions, you don't have the ability. If that's the case, even after birth, if you deepen your meditation and reach a state of "mushin" (a state of being able to act without distractions), it might be possible to develop image memorization mode in your mind.

In fact, I used to think that visualizing things in my mind was quite normal when I was a child, but I remember that as I was bullied and my mental state deteriorated, the images in my mind gradually moved further away, became distant, and faded, and eventually disappeared. If that's the case, the perpetrator who inflicted harm for 30 years must have had a significant negative impact on others, and they should receive appropriate punishment. I thought that, and then (from God?), I received a response in the form of an image: "It's okay. The lives of people who harm others don't go well. It's set up that way. Terrible things will happen to them." It seems that this is a case of karma.

It seemed like the story was about how, even if someone has the potential to excel, a bad environment, such as bullying, can cause their abilities to disappear or not develop.

Even though it's not as good as it used to be, my memory seems to have improved somewhat. When I concentrate, information seems to enter my memory more easily than before. I think there is a correlation between mental state and memory, and that abilities, whether innate or not, cannot develop without the right environment. In my case, my abilities were completely suppressed by my environment. Scolding or belittling children during their education can cause brain shrinkage and hinder their development. That's only natural.

Although I could do some things instinctively, I had lost these abilities for nearly 30 years. Now, I've managed to recover them, even if only a little. Since I lost them for 30 years, it feels almost like I'm acquiring them through learning. Basically, I want to continue developing these abilities through acquired skills from now on.