Even when meditating, for the past few days, I haven't felt completely at ease, with a slightly constricted feeling. The Sahasrara chakra wasn't fully opening, and my mind wasn't pulsing rhythmically and relaxing completely. It felt like I had regressed slightly.
So, I meditated again, trying to release the tension in my mind. Because I had loosened it somewhat recently, it hadn't become too stiff, and it didn't take much time to loosen it again. I used the Khechari Mudra to loosen the frontal lobe, which was feeling stiff again, feeling a "crackling" sensation until it relaxed. Also, the area around the crown of my head felt stiff again, so I used Khechari Mudra to direct my tongue towards that area and loosen it. I also loosened the area around the center of my head, which was feeling stiff.
Although it felt like I had regressed a bit, it seems to be okay if I meditate properly.
I had been trying to recover the area that had been feeling stiff for about 5 days, and for the past 2 days, it had been returning to a relatively relaxed state. However, as mentioned above, it still felt like it wasn't fully open, like the Sahasrara chakra, and it was a somewhat incomplete state.
While meditating, I realized that the center of my head, which hadn't been completely relaxed, felt like a "shell" around it was cracking. This sensation had happened before, but this time, along with that sensation, I felt like my head was opening to the left and right.
I had felt this sensation before, but previously, it would become stiff again after a while. I think this was because I was putting too much tension in my head. So, I've been careful not to put tension in it recently, but focusing only on my awareness. While meditating with just that focus, it suddenly relaxed.
Initially, I felt like something was pushing forward from the area between my eyebrows towards the center of my head. I didn't resist, but just focused my awareness on it, and then, with a "crack" in the center of my head, energy suddenly surged from the base of my neck towards the center of my head. That energy flowed through the center of my head and towards the crown. I started to feel a pulse and a throbbing sensation in the area just above the center of my head. This area, around the center of my head, mainly from the upper part of the center of my head to just below the crown, was an area that hadn't been relaxed before. Now, I finally felt a pulse and a throbbing sensation there, and it feels like it has been properly relaxed.
And, for the first time in a while, I could feel a strong pulse in the frontal, parietal, and occipital regions, which had previously been somewhat relaxed and with a weakened pulse.
▪️My eyes opened slightly, and my head felt like it was sore from exercise.
When I looked in the mirror in this state, I noticed that my "eyes" hadn't been fully open for a while, giving me a sleepy appearance. Now, they are slightly more open (physically). The front of my face, which had been almost expressionless before, seems to have a little more movement. Until now, my face had been blurry and lacking energy, probably due to the aftereffects of diabetes or mild symptoms. Now, it seems to be finally becoming "normal." I've lived a repressed life since I was a child, and while I've become much more free mentally in recent years, I think my body is finally starting to become free as well.
My facial expressions were really terrible when I was young; I think I looked like a sick person. Now, I think that was a combination of psychological factors and diabetes. Although it has improved significantly recently, the aftereffects still remained. When I look around, I see that almost no one has the sleepy look that I used to have, and I always wondered why everyone seemed so energetic. Although I've become more energetic recently, if I experience a period like the one I just had, my eyes become very blurry. That blurry look is finally becoming "normal," but it may not seem like a big change to others. However, for me, it's a significant change. Perhaps, this is simply "finally recovering from diabetes," and that may have some connection. However, I think the effects of meditation are also significant.
I think that, until now, the energy (aura) in the center of my head wasn't flowing properly. While some energy was flowing to various parts of my head, the center was blocked, which made it difficult for the energy to reach the entire head. I think that if the center of my head becomes blocked, I might experience problems like I did in the past five days.
Therefore, I think I should be careful to prevent the center of my head from becoming blocked in the future.
In this state, the area in the center of my head feels like it's "peeled" or "broken." I think the center of my head is still not fully active.
Even so, since the area around the head has become loose and the pulse is noticeable, I think it's only a matter of time before the center of the head also becomes completely loose and activated.
▪️There are still stiff areas in the head, so I will try to loosen them with meditation.
...The next morning, when I woke up, my head felt like it was sore from exercise. I haven't really felt this kind of sensation before, so I'm not sure what to call it. It's not painful enough to be called a headache, and it's not painful enough to be called a scar. It's similar to the feeling of something being there, even though the wound has mostly healed and formed a scab, but it's not exactly that. It might be that there's pressure in the center of my head, and it's trying to spread, but it's being blocked by something, so the muscles are getting tired and it feels like muscle soreness.
If I were to put it simply, it might be considered a headache, but this strange "pressure" and "feeling of being pushed" in my head is not really appropriate to call it a headache.
It's possible that the muscles in the center of my head are sore because parts that haven't been used before have suddenly started moving. I had a similar experience with my lower jaw recently, but the muscle soreness went away after a while, so I think it will be okay in time.
Previously, when it "cracked" and became loose on both sides, there was no noticeable pulse in the area slightly above the center of the head. This time, it "cracked" and became even looser, but the difference is that there is a noticeable pulse.
After meditating again, I still feel a "creaking" and "grinding" sensation in the center of my head, so it seems like this isn't over yet.
I feel like a scab is peeling off or a shell is cracking in the center of my head, but it doesn't seem to be completely cracked and loose yet. So, I will focus my awareness on the finer details and try to loosen them, and in addition, I will loosen the finer details while practicing Kechari Mudra.
One important point is that, as with the basic principles of meditation, it's important to concentrate your awareness without applying force. When you focus your awareness, things loosen, but at the same time, you tend to apply a little force, so it's necessary to occasionally reset that force and loosen it.
As a technique commonly used in yoga, spirituality, or magic, there is a method called "tension and relaxation," which is a simple technique that involves intentionally applying force and then releasing it. In this case, you can consciously tense your mind by slightly focusing your attention, and then immediately release the tension. When you tend to become tense, intentionally applying a little force and then immediately releasing it can help you relax.
By doing this, you can maintain the state of "concentration of consciousness and lack of force," which is the basic principle of meditation.
When you concentrate your consciousness (e.g., on the space between your eyebrows) in this state of not applying force, I think it becomes even easier to relax your mind.