Even when connected to a feeling of gratitude and love with the heart, there was still a sense of something being shadowed or veiled. This was a matter of degree, but even the feeling of gratitude, whether it's called the "Purusha," the "higher self," the "soul," or the "causal body," was covered by something like a haze.

What that haze was, I think, was a subtle sense of superiority. I thought I had almost eliminated this sense of superiority, but it seems it was still present.

Thoughts, feelings, and small voices like "Only I can do ○○○," or "I am the most suitable for ○○○," would occasionally resonate in my head, and I think this was a reaction to the remaining ego.

Even recently, there were still a few remnants of sexual desire or a slight trauma. Although almost eliminated, these small remaining parts were like a haze, and I was wondering what it was.

It seems that the haze was a sense of superiority.

And that the sense of superiority, sexual desire, and trauma are quite closely related.

It seems that when the sense of superiority is eliminated, sexual desire is also eliminated, and at the same time, the seeds of trauma disappear and become much smaller, almost unnoticeable.

I felt like my sense of superiority was being stirred by my imagination or by testing voices, as if I was being tested to see if I felt I was superior.

But one morning, while dozing, I suddenly thought, "Well, there are many predecessors who can do the same..." and when I realized that I was not special, at the same time, the sense of superiority decreased, and instantly, sexual desire and trauma also decreased.

In yoga, overcoming sexual desire is important as "Brahmacharya," but it seems to be connected not only to sexual desire itself, but also to a sense of superiority.

I seem to remember that in psychology, it is said that the sense of superiority as a man is linked to sexual desire, and that erectile dysfunction can occur when one loses confidence.

Therefore, generally, a decrease in sexual desire is thought to be a bad thing, but in this case, it is a good thing, as it is a matter of overcoming desire, and being able to overcome sexual desire along with a decrease in the sense of superiority seems to be a good trend.

Since the sense of superiority is proportional to the size of the ego, eliminating the sense of superiority would reduce the ego, and as a result of having less ego, one would be less susceptible to trauma, which seems to make sense.

Even without this experience, the elimination of sexual desire and trauma was almost complete, but I think that the remaining small parts have been further eliminated.