After recovering from COVID, I was feeling unwell and fell asleep at night. I had a dream, or something like a dream, where I felt very unwell, and everything I did seemed to fail. In the dream, I felt like I was back in the darkness, like I was a child who had been depressed. It probably lasted only about 10 or 30 minutes in the dream, but when I was a child, I felt like I was surrounded by that darkness for years, or even more than 10 years. Now I understand that it was a "dark aura," but at the time, I just thought I was depressed. I've written a little about that before.

While I was surrounded by that dark aura, various memories from the past resurfaced. At the same time, I gained a certain understanding of other people who were surrounded by that dark aura.

Originally, I thought that people with a dark aura were not worth dealing with. However, the understanding I gained from today's dream is that people surrounded by a dark aura, even if their circumstances are different, are actually seeking help, and they are not necessarily "evil" people. The people we should leave alone are actually the ones we should help. Of course, whether or not they can actually be helped depends on the circumstances, but we should help them to the extent that we can.

Looking back, I thought I was just depressed, but I was actually surrounded by that dark aura for a long time. That dark aura wasn't "evil," but it was a chaotic, "tamasic" aura, like in yoga, an aura that "slows down movement." I think that people surrounded by a dark aura are often said to be depressed, and that when that depression reaches its extreme, it becomes evil. But both are people who should be helped.

Before having this dream, I thought that the principle of "not associating with immoral people," as mentioned in Buddhism and yoga, was correct. Indeed, that may have been correct when I was immature and unable to cope with things myself. It's probably true that it's better to distance yourself from manipulative or dependent relationships. However, things are different if you can be free.

Now, I've come to understand that we should help people who are surrounded by that dark aura as much as possible.

In fact, I think that the reason I saw myself in that familiar state of darkness from my childhood in my dream was to make me realize this. When I was a child, I was seeking "help," but that help was not given enough. There are probably many people in the world who are surrounded by that dark aura and seeking help, just like I was when I was young, and I think I can help them.

I was trapped in that painful, dark aura, and I could feel the feelings of a person who is suffering, and I remembered, "Come to think of it, I used to feel like this..." I thought, "Is it not a dereliction of duty as a human being to leave someone who is suffering like this? If I can help, I should help."

Until now, I have followed the principle of "not associating with immoral people" as taught in Buddhism and yoga.

However, in this dream, the feeling of "I must help people who have fallen into darkness" arose.

Then, in the dream, I suddenly distanced myself from the dark aura and returned to a relatively normal state. However, I am still not fully back to normal. I am still in an intermediate state.

The dream continued, and memories of scenes where I was treated harshly when I was young and had that dark aura began to surface one after another.

Then, further understanding arose. I realized, "So, those people were avoiding me because I had that dark aura." With that realization, I felt a sense of forgiveness for the people who had treated me so badly.

At that time, we were just immature people avoiding each other. And if that discord develops, it can lead to conflict.

After seeing many such memories in the dream, I finally returned to my current peaceful state of aura. Perhaps, in the future, I will become even more radiant. However, at least, I can help people who have a lower aura than I do currently.

In this dream, I came to understand that it might be okay to do such things in the future.

Until yesterday, I believed that the basic principle is that people should be independent. And I was quite perfectionistic, believing that helping others is something that can only be done after enlightenment. Therefore, I thought that I was not yet at the stage of helping others.

Now that I think about it, I think I may have had a similar understanding before. I think I had already reached a point where it is better to avoid immoral people to a certain extent, and that when that point is reached, the influence of immoral people decreases, so I should increase interaction with others. Interaction with good people is always necessary, and such distinctions and discernment are about how to deal with immoral people, and it is a matter of degree, but I think that as spiritual growth progresses, interaction with others becomes easier. You will no longer feel tired, nauseous, or physically unwell when you meet people with immoral, dark auras.

With the understanding gained from this dream, I think that even if I am not fully enlightened, I can help people who are less awakened than myself. It could be through knowledge, healing, or anything else, but I believe I can help people who are falling into darkness, to a certain extent.

I was wondering why I re-experienced the darkness of the past in the dream, but it seems that it was to gain this understanding.

Although it may seem similar, last year, when I recalled past memories and experienced a catastrophe, it was not actually re-experiencing the darkness aura, but rather a purification through love.

On the other hand, in this dream, I actually re-experienced the darkness aura of my younger self, which is something I haven't experienced in a long time. This made me realize, "It must have been so painful back then." Because it was the darkness aura I felt when I was young, I knew it was real, and there was no mistake. Indeed, I think I had that kind of darkness aura back then. Then, by briefly experiencing that pain, I thought, "It's an urgent matter to help people who are suffering from that painful aura. It's wrong, as a person, not to help them."

The people who are living their lives while being irritated in the world are not "people who should not be involved with because they are immoral," but rather "people who are suffering from a darkness aura and should be helped."

As a result of briefly re-experiencing the "darkness aura" and "depression aura" of my younger self in the dream, I gained a new understanding that "I should save people who are falling into darkness" and "people in such a painful mental state are seeking help."

After feeling the darkness aura, which I had forgotten for several decades, I have started to recognize the darkness aura not as an enemy or someone to be avoided, but as someone who should be helped.

If that is the case, healing, which I have not considered important until now, may be usable as one of the means.

I don't think I can do anything right now, but I think I have a direction for the future.