Something might be there, but at the same time, it feels like there's no reason for it. Yet, tears still flow.

It's not necessarily sad, and if you were to say it's a little sad, maybe it is, but it's not.
It's not necessarily moving, and it's not that it's not moving, but if you were to ask if it's moving, maybe it is, but it's not.
It's not necessarily gratitude, and if you were to ask if it's gratitude, maybe it is, but it's not.

Suddenly, without a clear reason, tears well up.
Sometimes there are a lot, and sometimes they come out just a little.

I'm not crying, but it might look like that to others.

Thinking back, I remember being called "crybaby" by my classmates when I was in elementary school. At that time, I just accepted it as "maybe that's true," but now, I think that my classmates simply didn't understand me because we were fundamentally different people.

Humans, due to their mental structure, live by "projecting" their thoughts and impressions onto those around them. Therefore, what we perceive of others is only through our own perception, which is a reflection of our own inner selves. That's why methods of understanding others through logic, such as "emptying oneself" to understand others, have developed.

My classmates were imposing their own perceptions on others and deciding that it was true, which was just a projection of their own inner selves. Because of the structure of their minds, they couldn't understand my "tears."

Thinking about that, I feel like I've finally recovered my mental state to the level I had in elementary school. After being bullied and having my mental state collapse, and after going through a period where my mind was messed up like Camille from Z Gundam, I've been in a state that was different from my original state, which is my true state. Now, I feel like I'm finally returning to that original state.

...Thinking about this state, I realize that I can't truly connect with many people, and that we see things completely differently, and our ways of thinking are also different. Therefore, the number of people I can truly communicate with is very limited. This applies even to those who are involved in spirituality, because most current spirituality is a "sparkly" spirituality for souls that have grown up on Earth, so even if we talk, we are rarely understood.

In my case, because I intentionally brought myself to the lowest point, I can understand the earthy and mundane stories of this planet to some extent. However, as a result of that understanding, I have come to think that the thinking of people on Earth is still at a relatively low level. Even though Japanese people are at a higher level than other countries, spiritually speaking, there are still few people who are at a certain level.

In this world, humans basically can only perceive love as sexual love between men and women or as love like that of LGBTQ individuals. Many people cannot understand love that goes beyond sexual love. Regarding women, there are many who have developed affection, and since affection is a step beyond sexual love, it is somewhat a higher level of love, but there are few who have reached a universal love (which also has levels).

Therefore, it is natural that I could not understand the people around me at all during my childhood. The effort to try to understand was pointless. It was simply impossible to understand them. At most, it was possible to understand someone who was only one level different. People at the level of sexual love may somewhat understand affection, but it is impossible for them to understand love that is higher than that. People at the level of affection may somewhat understand universal love (the first step), but it is impossible for them to understand love that is higher than that.

The fact that my classmates were using the "projection" function of their minds to reflect their own image onto me and arbitrarily judge and evaluate me, and my efforts to somehow understand them were pointless. Many people only know sexual love, and some people don't even understand sexual love. In such a situation, it was impossible to understand universal love. Trying to understand each other was a pointless effort. As Buddhism says, "do not associate with immoral people" was the correct approach, but I was forced to be in the same classroom in the narrow society of school, and I was forced to interact with people who arbitrarily judged me, arbitrarily used the "projection" of their minds to label me, and made fun of me, even if it was just polite conversation.

I also had the wrong idea that I was projecting my own mind onto the people around me, and that the people around me could think and understand the same things. In reality, it is impossible to understand each other. The people around me (especially my childhood classmates) were simply too different from me.

When I went to university and met people who were reasonably intelligent, there were things I couldn't understand. People who were more talented than those at my university seemed to have faster thinking and better comprehension, and I thought that perhaps they would be easier to understand, but due to a lack of understanding of spirituality in recent times, it seemed difficult to connect with them.

Even among people who were reasonably intelligent, I saw them projecting their own problems onto others. For example, environmental issues, international conflicts, and problems of famine were not seen as actual problems, but rather as projections of their own mental states, leading them to overestimate the severity of the issues. They would also become aggressive towards people who "didn't take action." So, even if someone was reasonably intelligent, they often misconstrued the problems and mistakenly believed that they were much more serious than they actually were.

Even in such situations, the reality of Earth is that its inhabitants are the main actors, and the involvement of the universe is essentially limited. There is a "law of non-interference" in this universe, which guarantees the "freedom of planets," and the main actors who have the "right to decide the future of the planet" are the "inhabitants of the planet." Therefore, my involvement, as someone who is relatively on the outside, might be a misunderstanding. If the inhabitants of Earth want to be "left alone" and "want to do things their own way," then, except in emergencies, that is the way of the universe. There are exceptions, and the universe is allowed to intervene if a planet is about to be destroyed, but fundamentally, whether it survives or perishes is up to the free will of the inhabitants of Earth. As for me, while direct involvement from the universe is prohibited, I am (supposedly) allowed to intervene if I am reincarnated on a planet. However, fundamentally, the basic principle is to leave Earth alone.

When I re-recognized this reality, I heard a voice, or rather, a consciousness, or a message, from above.

"That's right. Therefore, 'saving the Earth' might be unnecessary interference. The people of Earth want to live their lives as they please, and if that is their wish, it might be best to let them. It might be better not to interfere too much. Ultimately, whether they prosper, perish, or decline, it is all the responsibility of the inhabitants of Earth."

In reality, my tears might be a reaction to the presence of an angel or someone nearby who is loving and sad about this world, and my body is responding to their aura of love and sadness. If that's the case, the angels might be looking at the future if things continue as they are.

On the other hand, I also hear a different voice.

"It may not matter if the Earth survives, so it might be okay if it perishes."
Another voice says:
"Even if it doesn't perish, perhaps it's okay to let it decline gradually, and just let things be."

Also, a different voice often asks questions.

"People may not want to be saved. They might think it's unnecessary interference. Even so, do you still want to save the Earth? Not everyone, but many of the people who were around you in your childhood are uncomprehending, and you can't communicate with them. They are selfish, arrogant, and violent. You have been ridiculed, exploited, and even treated as a villain, and you have been subjected to such terrible things. Even so, do you want to save the Earth?"

In reality, this question has been asked many times before, and my answer is still ambiguous. While I have a "yes" (I will intervene) to some extent, I also feel that if everyone feels that way, it might be better to leave them alone. I also feel that "do whatever you want, freedom and non-interference are the basic principles of the universe."

And with that in mind, I have a feeling that if I make up my mind, I will awaken, and if I don't, I won't.

Men are often uncomprehending and arrogant, so I think it's generally best to leave them alone. Men will figure things out for themselves. Also, men tend to reject "being helped," and I have often heard men say, "Don't interfere, the Earth belongs to the Earthlings." While there are good men, there are also many who are selfish, have a narrow perspective, and yell, so I generally think it's best to leave men alone. Men will figure things out for themselves. Indeed, the principle of the universe is "freedom and non-interference," so they are saying the right thing.

There are some strange women, but there are also many good women. I think it's possible to save the Earth for the sake of the women who are close to me, and that might be the key to saving Japan and the Earth, where my past wives were born and raised. So, if it's to create a society where women can live happily, I think it might be okay to get involved. I especially dislike hysterical women, but even taking that into account, it might be okay to save good women. This is something that requires a "request" from the residents of the Earth. Since the law of the universe is "freedom and non-interference," it is not possible to help without a request, and it can only be done when there is a request.

However, although there are various reasons, at the present time, even though tears are overflowing, I feel that I am still one step away from making a decision, and I am unable to make up my mind, so I am not yet fully awakened.

When I think about it, what can a tiny, physical being do?

I think I have only been connected to the will of God to a small extent. However, that will has not yet been decided, and it is unclear what will happen in the future. I think that is the situation I am in.