The conversation shifts slightly, and then there's the topic of relearning. Since the COVID-19 pandemic, I've been working remotely, which has given me more time, so I started relearning at the Open University. There's also a background to this, such as the fact that I felt a difference in intelligence between myself and others in the past. I think I might be able to graduate from the Open University this year, but when I was studying at the Open University, I completely forgot the things I learned in high school, so I'm thinking of going back and reviewing everything from high school. Because of this, I bought a simple reference book as a trial, and I was surprised at how much I've forgotten about general knowledge, such as history, idioms, and the meanings of kanji, even though I didn't use social studies in high school because I was aiming for a science-related university. I use English in my daily work (reading, writing, listening, and speaking), and I don't have any problems, but sometimes my prepositions and grammar are a bit strange. It's usually fine if the content is understood in technical work, but I think I don't get very high scores on tests because there are many small mistakes. So, I think it would be good to relearn everything. It seems that it's better to solidify the basics now. I think I can review the content of the Center Test (now called the Common Test) in about three years. I used to be bad at classical Japanese in high school, but when I looked at it again recently, it was surprisingly fresh and interesting, and I've completely forgotten about classical Chinese, but it seems interesting, so I might take it as a course in the final term of the Open University. I used to think, "Why am I being made to read such strange articles?" when I took modern Japanese tests, but now I think it's interesting to be exposed to the essence of various people's thoughts. In any case, right now, I'm getting a strong "study" message (from an unseen guide), and no matter what I do in the future, I need to study a lot to achieve it, so it seems that it's a good time to relearn the basics. I think that if I want to talk to smart people like that, I need to study more, otherwise, I might not even be able to understand them. I've recently gotten used to studying again at the Open University, so it might be a good time to start relearning seriously. From my current perspective, I'm basically studying for cultural enrichment, but there's also a side of me that's learning slowly because I'm being told to "study" by the guide (or at least, that's how it feels). Whether that's true or not, I don't know.

The mental state conducive to studying is one with few distractions, emotional stability, and a quiet demeanor. It is because of this stability that one can concentrate on matters. When praised for studying and told "you're amazing," it can inflate one's ego and self-esteem, hindering the study process. Therefore, an environment with people who are at least somewhat superior is better. In such an environment, one can study quietly and undisturbed, without being praised or criticized, without being held back, and can accept what others do without getting involved, enjoying freedom, and avoiding environments that trigger negative self-esteem or increase ego, which can lead to more distractions. When in such an environment, one can study and achieve better results. This is why students in urban, prestigious schools tend to have better grades. In addition to their inherent abilities, the environment boosts their growth. Alternatively, if one is significantly ahead of others, they might be overlooked, but if one's grades are only slightly better, they may be compared, leading to unwanted self-esteem issues or feeling held back. In my rural hometown, like in my father's family, there are many people who laugh at or hinder others' failures. During high school, this environment damaged my mental state, making it difficult to study. I think it's remarkable that I managed to get into a university under those circumstances.

Higher-level guides have provided detailed instructions regarding learning, including re-learning things that were once learned but forgotten, and acquiring general knowledge to the extent of being able to pass the general entrance exams for top universities. They suggest that, if possible, I should enroll directly. There are several reasons for this. First, I didn't have an environment conducive to focused studying during my active years. Second, in the age of AI, the programming I have been doing may become obsolete. Furthermore, this seems to be the most important aspect for the higher-level entities. They say that after my death, half of my soul will return to a group soul in heaven, while the other half will merge into a person 400 years in the past, which is a form of "walk-in." Typically, a walk-in involves the existing soul leaving and a new soul entering. In this case, the existing soul remains, and in addition to the soul of that person (a fragment of the same group soul that separated from me), half of my soul (after death) will enter and merge, inheriting my knowledge and insights, and create a new timeline. To make that life meaningful, they say that the knowledge I acquire in the present will become the knowledge of the future world, so I should study diligently now. This is not just for personal gain but to have an impact on many people, and I should study diligently now. (I actually know the specific person's name, but it's too famous to mention.) The guides (higher-level entities) say that the knowledge I acquire in that new parallel timeline will be useful at that time, so I should gradually prepare for it. However, I feel like, "Is that really true?" Even if it's not true, studying itself is useful, as general knowledge is interesting and educational. If, in the future, things turn out as instructed, studying while working will take time, so it's necessary to start now. In any case, general knowledge is beneficial, so it's not a waste of time.

I am now studying high school subjects again, but I have completely forgotten社会 (social studies) and国語 (Japanese language). I didn't use社会 in the entrance exams, so I don't have much memorization, and I skipped many topics in high school. However, I find it interesting to relearn these subjects. Since I only took理系 (science) subjects in the university entrance exams, I am studying現代文 (modern literature) and古文 (classical literature) again, and I understand them more clearly and specifically than I did when I was a student.

During my high school years, I was mentally unstable and couldn't concentrate, experiencing headaches almost every day. Even when I tried to concentrate, I felt depressed, which made it difficult to study. Now, I finally have a good foundation for proper learning.

During my high school years, I was forced to follow instructions from higher-ups, even when it meant damaging my mental health and attending a less prestigious university. Sometimes, teachers would look at me with disdain and occasionally make fun of me. I used to say things like "I'm fine with ⚪︎⚪︎ University," which I now realize were quite arrogant. When I said "It's better than failing," the teacher would get visibly annoyed and say "Chit." However, it seems that my seemingly innocent comment about the teacher's decision to have me retake the exam was offensive and caused him to get angry.

I used to have a good memory and could memorize textbooks until elementary school, but my mental state deteriorated in junior high and high school, making it difficult for me to retain information. My father (my brother had already moved to Tokyo) would often laugh at me, which made me angry and distracted, making it difficult to concentrate. Even though I didn't study much, I managed to pass the exams, so I considered it good enough.

In high school, I was passionate about creating shooting games using programming (specifically, assembly language). I believe it helped me develop my thinking skills. Although I didn't focus much on school subjects, my grades were decent. During that time, I thought for myself, analyzed the structure, diligently read programming books, and independently developed programming skills using a relatively difficult language (but fast) to create games. These skills have been useful to me for decades.

Creating games involved tasks such as moving the player's character, animating the enemies, scrolling the background, firing bullets, and managing memory. At that time, the memory was limited, and the CPU was slow, making game development more challenging than it is today. I carefully considered each aspect and optimized for speed and memory efficiency. The two shooting games I created were the result of my high school efforts, and I displayed them at the school's cultural festival. However, the teachers didn't seem to understand them. I think even the club advisor didn't understand. They probably thought I was just playing games and not studying for the entrance exams. The club advisor criticized me for not giving proper instructions to other members, but it's difficult for inexperienced students to do anything when they only show up during the cultural festival. Although the teachers didn't understand, I enjoyed programming throughout high school, and it was a fulfilling experience.

After university, I majored in information science, so I did some programming in my classes. The knowledge I gained from thinking for myself during high school was also useful in my work. Although it was initially based on instructions from superiors, that skill proved valuable. The programming I did at university was mostly basic, and some of my classmates were overconfident, but the actual projects I worked on after graduation were much more complex, involving programs with 100,000 or even 1,000,000 lines of code. The thinking skills I developed in high school proved to be helpful.

I believe that few people, including high school teachers, university professors, and colleagues in my workplace, truly understood the difficulty of programming.

Another option I considered was attending a self-proclaimed prestigious high school, which would have required a 1-2 hour (round trip 3 hours) commute by bus or bicycle. However, that would have been too tiring, and I would have spent too much time on homework and extra classes. I doubt attending such a school would have made a significant difference, and I wouldn't have had time for programming. That's the situation I was in, so I neglected my regular studies, and until I entered university, I was quite lacking in common sense.

I used to be quite good at kanji and Japanese language in elementary school, but my mental state deteriorated in junior high and high school, making it difficult for me to learn. I didn't study Japanese much for the university entrance exams, so I know less about common kanji and idioms compared to the average university student. I guess I was a "slow" student. However, I was considered relatively capable in my rural hometown, which gave me a sense of pride. I struggled to lose that pride and ego.

The education system often creates a false sense of superiority. When you are told "You're amazing" (even if it's just compared to others in a small, rural society), it can inflate your ego and make it difficult to let go of. This inflated ego has caused various difficulties in my life after moving to Tokyo, and I have often been disliked for my arrogant attitude. I have often felt self-loathing because of my own ego.

For a long time, learning and self-loathing were strongly linked, making it difficult for me to learn because I felt like something was holding me back. However, recently, I have overcome those mental obstacles and can now learn properly.

Looking back, I realize that my words when I first moved to Tokyo were truly foolish. I didn't understand anything. The root cause of this was my mental instability and the constant stream of distracting thoughts. During elementary school, I was constantly laughed at, which eroded my self-esteem and created a high level of stress. Later, I experienced prolonged dissatisfaction and frustration, which led to constant distractions in my mind.

I started programming in junior high school, and during high school, I wanted to focus on computers, so I chose to attend a local high school where I wouldn't have to study as much. This was a decision I made while in junior high school. However, during elementary school, I experienced a mental breakdown, which led to an out-of-body experience. In this state, I was able to transcend time and space, see various possibilities, and alter my timeline. Based on these glimpses into the future, I determined that it would be better to focus on programming at my local high school rather than commuting for an hour and a half to a more prestigious school. This choice, while seemingly made by myself, could also be attributed to a higher-level consciousness. It was a decision made from a higher dimension, transcending time and space. While it seemed correct at the time, the slow pace of the classes made it easy to get away with not studying, but on the other hand, I sometimes felt stressed by the school's somewhat chaotic atmosphere and was treated as if I were a "stupid student." However, I accepted this as a directive from a higher power, which I was aware of at the time. There were many boys with a rough appearance, but the girls were mostly gentle and nurturing, which was a pleasant contrast. The local school had a "advanced class," but it was more of a formality, and the lessons were often boring, but this allowed me to focus on programming. I suspect that the teachers were frustrated with our lack of motivation for studying and university preparation, and they likely couldn't understand my attitude, but overall, things went as planned. I didn't explain this to the teachers, as I knew they wouldn't understand. I was confident that I would end up at the university I wanted, regardless of how much I studied, so I didn't worry about it much. When I took the entrance exams, I was surprised at how much I knew, and I thought, "This is familiar. I can actually do this. Is this okay?" However, I struggled with other exams, which suggests that I hadn't studied as much as I thought. While the higher power had limited my knowledge to help me get into the desired university, it also seemed to disapprove of my lack of studying. I was aware of my potential, but I was too proud to admit it. I gradually started studying English, but I struggled because my mental health issues made it difficult to concentrate. I had been putting off studying other subjects until now. I have been taking courses at the Open University for the past three years, and I am close to graduating. However, I have now received a new directive from a higher power to repeat the same studies as I did when I prepared for the entrance exams. I am gradually preparing for this new phase of learning. Given that decades have passed since then, and we are now in an era where AI like ChatGPT is becoming prevalent, I feel that the era of traditional programming is coming to an end. This may be the right time for me to change my position. The rise of AI is likely to have a significant impact on jobs, especially in IT, and I need to continue learning to stay relevant. This directive to re-learn may be related to the need for a stronger foundation in basic skills, rather than just studying IT. In the past, I benefited from starting programming early, which helped me achieve results that were twice as good as others, and I was often praised for my skills. However, I now believe that a different perspective is needed. While my work in the IT field allowed me to achieve results that were better than my peers and even led to overseas assignments, I now realize that I might have been treated as useless or even institutionalized for mental health reasons if I hadn't been in the IT field. In the past, there were instances of bullying, but the response was often inadequate. The era was different. I was able to earn a good salary in the IT field, and my programming skills have been valuable throughout my life. In the past, the IT industry had a high number of people with mental health issues, so I didn't stand out as much. However, there were people who were working while undergoing treatment for mental health issues, but they were encouraged to resign after reporting their condition to the company. While companies are now more socially responsible and less likely to encourage resignation for mental health reasons, this was common in the past. People with mental health issues were sometimes removed from projects because their behavior could jeopardize client relationships. I witnessed these situations, and I was afraid of being diagnosed with a mental illness and being sent to a psychiatric hospital.

It's not necessarily something to rush, but continuing for too long is also pointless, so I'm planning for a period of 3.5 years. In reality, there were several timelines I considered, and some of them might have led to better universities (although I'm not sure if that's true). However, I felt that those options would inflate my ego and hinder spiritual growth, so I chose a path where I would be average in my studies and university, and face difficulties in society. This is based on the idea that it's better to learn and grow through re-education. However, when I look at the reality, it seems that the main issue is simply that I'm not good at studying, so I need to study. Some people manage to get into prestigious universities and still create games through programming. I focused my time on programming, so my university experience was average. Truly excellent people can balance studying and game development, so I think I wasn't that excellent. Even though I had problems with my environment, there's always someone better. Also, there are people who overcame difficult environments and abuse to study, so I think I wasn't as adaptable or talented as they were. I've written a lot, but the main points are: first, I couldn't focus on my studies during my initial university years, so I have a strong motivation to study. Second, there's a practical and timely need for re-education. Third, from a higher, long-term perspective, half of my soul will become the basis for the next timeline, so it's important to learn thoroughly in this lifetime. Although the last point is important from a higher perspective, let's put that aside for now. First, I need to deal with the realities of my current life. So, I should enter the university, build connections, and then... The overall plan is laid out, but for now, I'm still wondering if it's really possible. Therefore, it's important to focus on the basics right now.

Intelligence and love are deeply related. If you're not intelligent, you can't understand love, and it becomes an instinctive kind of love. When people say things like "my partner is boring," it often comes down to whether they are intelligent or not. This isn't about whether you can do well in school, but about whether you have the intelligence to understand love. Being able to communicate and understand each other requires a certain level of intelligence. For example, my father would yell "Shut up!" whenever I said something, making it impossible to communicate. He wouldn't listen to me, but would constantly tell me what to do. He was also morally bankrupt, laughing at my mistakes and making fun of me (as his own child), which was embarrassing and showed a lack of common sense. He was not only abusive but also unintelligent, so I think it's pointless to be with someone like that. When I told my mother about this, she said that she wanted to divorce him when she was young, but back then, there were few people who divorced, and her parents told her that "there's no one in our family who has divorced," so she couldn't divorce him and had to endure it all this time. She recently said that they're about to reach their 50th wedding anniversary. Marrying someone unintelligent leads to problems later on. There are truly terrible people in the world, and if you fall in love with someone like that, you'll end up suffering like my mother.

For several reasons, I am starting to re-learn general education subjects.