Something might be there, but it also feels like there's nothing. Yet, tears still flow.

It's not exactly sadness, and if you were to say it's a little sad, maybe it is, but it's not.
It's not exactly being moved, and it's not that I'm not moved, but if you were to ask if I'm moved, maybe I am, but it's not.
It's not exactly gratitude, and if you were to ask if I'm grateful, maybe I am, but it's not.

Suddenly, without a clear reason, tears well up.
Sometimes there are a lot, and sometimes they come out just a little.

I'm not crying, but it might look like that to others.

I remember, when I was in elementary school, I was told by my classmates that I was a "crybaby." At that time, I just accepted it as "maybe that's true," but now, I think that my classmates simply didn't understand me because we were fundamentally different people.

People, due to their mental structure, live by "projecting" their thoughts and impressions onto those around them. Therefore, what we perceive of ourselves is only a reflection of our own minds. Because of this, we can only understand others through our own perceptions, and that's why methods of understanding others through logic, such as "emptying oneself" to understand others, have developed.

My classmates were deciding what things were based on their own thoughts and imposing those impressions on others. Even though that was just a projection of their own minds, they labeled me as a "crybaby." I think that because of the structure of their minds, they couldn't understand my "tears."

Thinking about this, I feel like my mental state has finally recovered to the level I had in elementary school. After being bullied and having my mental state collapse, and after going through a period similar to what Camille from Z Gundam experienced, my mind was messed up. For a long time, I was in a state that was not my original state, but I finally feel like I'm returning to that original state.

...Thinking about this state, I realize that I can't truly connect with many people. We see things differently, and our ways of thinking are different. Therefore, the number of people I can truly communicate with is very limited. This applies even to people who are involved in spirituality. Most current spirituality is a "sparkly" spirituality for souls that have grown up on Earth, so even if we talk, we are rarely understood.

In my case, because I intentionally brought myself to the lowest point, I can understand the earthy and mundane stories of the Earth to some extent. However, as a result of understanding, I have come to think that the thinking of people on Earth is still at a low level. Even though Japanese people are at a higher level than other countries, spiritually speaking, there are still few people who are at a certain level.

Basically, people in this world can only perceive love as sexual love between men and women or as love like that of LGBT people. Many people cannot understand love that goes beyond sexual love. Regarding women, there are many who have developed affection, and affection is a slightly higher form of love than sexual love, but there are few who have reached universal love (which also has levels).

Therefore, it is natural that I could not understand the people around me at all during my childhood. The effort to try to understand was pointless. It was impossible to understand them. At most, it was possible to understand someone who was only one level different. People at the level of sexual love may understand affection to some extent, but it is impossible for them to understand love that is higher than that. People at the level of affection may understand universal love (the first step), but it is impossible for them to understand love that is higher than that.

The fact that my classmates around me were judging and evaluating me based on their own projections of their minds was something that I tried to understand, but it was ultimately a pointless effort. Many people only know sexual love, and some people don't even understand sexual love. In such a situation, it was impossible to understand universal love. It was a pointless effort to try to understand each other. As Buddhism says, "do not associate with immoral people" was the correct approach, but I was forced to be in the same classroom in a narrow society called school, and I was forced to interact with people who judged me arbitrarily, labeled me with their own mental projections, and made fun of me, even if it was just polite conversation.

I also had the wrong idea that I was projecting my own mind onto the people around me, and that the people around me could think and understand the same way. In reality, it is impossible to understand each other. The people around me (especially my classmates in childhood) were that different from me.

When I went to university and met people who were reasonably intelligent, there were parts I couldn't understand. People who were more talented than those at my university seemed to have faster thinking and better comprehension, and I thought that perhaps they would be easier to understand, but due to a lack of understanding of spirituality in recent times, it seemed difficult to connect with them.

Even among people who were reasonably intelligent, I saw them projecting their own problems onto others. For example, environmental issues, international conflicts, and problems like famine were not seen as actual problems, but rather as projections of their own mental states, leading them to overestimate the severity of the issues. They would also become aggressive towards people who "don't take action." So, even if someone is reasonably intelligent, they may be misinterpreting the problems and mistakenly believing that the problems are much more serious than they are.

Even in such situations, the reality of Earth is that the inhabitants of Earth are the main actors, and the involvement of the universe is basically limited. There is a "law of non-interference" in this universe, which means that "planets have freedom," and the main actors who have the "right to decide the future of the planet" are the "inhabitants of the planet." Therefore, my involvement, as someone who is relatively outside of things, may be a misunderstanding. If the inhabitants of Earth want to be "left alone" and "want to do things their own way," then, except in emergencies, it is the law of the universe to allow them to do so. There are exceptions, and the universe is allowed to intervene if a planet is about to be destroyed, but basically, whether it survives or goes extinct is up to the free will of the inhabitants of Earth. As for me, while direct involvement from the universe is prohibited, I am (apparently) allowed to intervene if I am reincarnated on a planet. However, fundamentally, the basic principle is to leave Earth alone.

When I re-recognized this reality, I heard a voice, like a consciousness, like a message.

"That's right. So, 'saving the Earth' might be unnecessary. The people of Earth want to live their lives as they please, and if that is their wish, it might be better to let them. It might be better not to interfere too much. Ultimately, whether they prosper, go extinct, or decline, it is all the responsibility of the inhabitants of Earth."

In reality, my tears might be a reaction to the presence of an angel or someone nearby who is loving and sad about this world, and my body is responding to their aura of love and sadness. If that's the case, the angels might be looking at the future if things continue as they are.

On the other hand, I also hear a different voice.

"It may not matter if the Earth survives, so it might be okay if it perishes."
Another voice says:
"Even if it doesn't perish, perhaps it's okay to let it decline gradually, and just let things be."

Also, a different voice often asks questions.

"People may not want to be saved. They might think it's meddling. Even so, do you want to save the Earth? Not everyone, but many of the people who were around you in your childhood are uncomprehending, and you can't communicate with them. They are selfish, arrogant, and violent. You have been ridiculed, exploited, and even treated as a villain by them. Even so, do you want to save the Earth?"

In reality, this question has been asked many times before, and my answer is still ambiguous. While I have a "yes" (I will intervene) to some extent, I also feel that if everyone feels that way, it might be better to leave them alone. I also feel that "do whatever you want, freedom and non-interference are the basic principles of the universe."

And with that in mind, I have a feeling that if I make up my mind, I will awaken, and if I don't, I won't.

Men are often uncomprehending and arrogant, so I think it's generally best to leave them alone. Men will figure things out for themselves. Also, men tend to reject being "helped," and I have often heard men say, "Don't interfere, the Earth belongs to the Earthlings." While there are good men, there are also many who are selfish, have a narrow perspective, and yell, so I generally think it's best to leave men alone. Men will figure things out for themselves. Indeed, the principle of the universe is "freedom and non-interference," so they are saying the right thing.

There are some strange women, but there are also many good ones. I think it's possible to save the Earth for the sake of the women who are close to me, and that might be the key to saving Japan and the Earth, where those former wives were born and raised. So, if it's to create a society where women can live happily, I think it might be okay to get involved. I especially dislike hysterical women, but even taking that into account, it might be okay to save good women. This is something that requires a "request" from the residents of the Earth. Since the law of the universe is "freedom and non-interference," it is not possible to help without a request, and it can only be done when there is a request.

However, although there are various reasons, at the present time, even though tears are overflowing, I feel that I am still one step away from making a decision, and I am unable to make up my mind, so I am not yet fully awakened.

When I think about it, what can a tiny, physical being do?

I think I am only slightly connected to the will of God. However, that will is not yet decided, and it is unclear what will happen in the future. I think that is the situation.