It's probably something that happens to some extent with young people, but there are a certain number of young people who become so disillusioned with the world that they want to recklessly destroy it. I remember having a similar tendency when I was young. They direct their dissatisfaction towards the world in a way that is incredibly reckless, aiming to "destroy the world."

Looking back, the chemistry class I took in college was quite unique. The professor said something like, "You probably won't use chemistry anyway. I'll give you credit if you write down what you're thinking and send it to me." I thought it was amazing that there were university professors who would allow such a thing, but since the professor said it was okay, I guess it was fine. At the time, I just thought, "That's strange. There are classes like that." But now, I wonder if the faculty was interested in finding out what the students in the newly established IT department were thinking. I'm not sure, but anyway, I had that kind of chemistry class, and I think I wrote some pretty radical things at the time. It sounds good to say "like a young person," but compared to other reports, I wrote some pretty interesting things, and the professor seemed very interested.

At that time, the internet was still in its early stages, and hacking was very simple. It wasn't like the sophisticated things we have now. Windows would often freeze and crash just from a simple network connection. At the same time, it was possible to access files on a Windows computer's local drive from the network and freely copy them. I didn't create those files myself; I just copied them from those websites and ran them. Now, I think that running those files on my PC probably meant my PC was already infected with a virus. Anyway, at the time, I and my friends were doing all sorts of hacking-like things without worrying about the risks.

Of course, I didn't do anything like that against 일반 people, but it was a time when it was possible. It was that basic and easy. It's been 20 to 30 years since then, but at that time, the internet was still small, and I felt like I could change the world with my own power.

Looking around the world, for example, there are people who, claiming to be hackers, take over websites, or launch network attacks to bring down services, and then issue statements expressing political claims. There may have been such people.

One of the famous groups of early hackers was called "某A." It was a diverse group, and it formed an ideological collective where people who sympathized with it would freely claim to be part of it. While it may not have had continuity from that time, it still seemed to represent a prototype. In the early days of the internet, there was a freedom to rebel against a world that seemed unreachable and to loudly declare one's own claims, and that freedom still exists to some extent today.

That is often a privilege of youth. Young people often try to rebel against the world, and eventually, they inevitably fail.

Spiritually, I now understand this as a pattern where the ego rebels against itself, and since the ego cannot defeat itself, the ego must disappear. It is impossible to erase the world in which one lives, which is also oneself. The ego rebelled against the world, and as a result, that power returned to itself and tried to destroy itself. Of course, it is impossible to destroy oneself, but I just had a painful experience. When I was young, I sometimes tried to do things that were like spitting in the face of heaven. It was foolish, but I now understand that it was a youthful folly.